I’m dipping my paws in the water and testing this out.
Listen up, it’s my first beauty review.
The guinea pig for this debut is the Sugar Lip Treatment by Fresh.
Mommy’s tried Berry and Cherry, and while she raves about it…me, not so much.
Okay, okay, no need to raise your voice. Before I defend the mark I gave this lip balm, let me explain why mommy gave it a B+.
What mommy loves about Sugar:
What she hates:
The $26 price tag
She said she would have given it an A+ but it’s so darn expensive. And because it has such a creamy texture, you can use up the tube pretty quickly.
Now this is where I enter.
This would have failed my strict tests if not for the fact that mommy absolutely loves it.
I hate it because:
It smells funny
It tastes really, really gross
Whenever I tried to kiss my human while she’s wearing this lip balm, I could immediately tell she has it on. The taste is just so godawful. How can anyone even bear to put that stuff on their lips? It’s beyond me. I don’t care if it gives mommy’s lips some colour so she doesn’t have to wear lipstick, but man, the folks over at Fresh must have put something in it to make it so repulsive. Mommy said it doesn’t taste like anything, but I firmly disagree.
So, Sugar, you’re lucky mommy loves you so much, otherwise you would have been rejected by the renowned beauty queen, yours truly.
In honour of the end of the fantastic year 2014 (I learned the trick “Dance”, I moved to a bigger place, etc.), I’ve decided to answer the Top 5 Google searches for beauty. Now, I am assuming my fans are mostly of the two-legged kind, so I am answering these questions tailored for you. Just don’t be alarmed if some of my answers seem…canine. I am a dog, after all.
How to get rid of acne
I have absolutely no idea. I’ve only ever heard mommy and daddy talk about the occasional pimple. Mommy likes to leave it alone, meanwhile daddy likes to pop it.
How to get rid of stretch marks
Why do people want to get rid of their stretch marks? Aren’t they kind of like dew claws? They’re there. Nothing really happens if they stay there, and yet some dogs get them removed. Is this an aesthetics thing?
How often should I wash my hair
Mommy washes her hair every 3 or 4 days. Daddy, every day. Me – every month. There’s no real number here. Just play it by ear. If it’s starting to get greasy or smelly, wash it. One thing I know for sure though: you should really wash your hair after working out/exercising.
What is bb cream
Yes! I know this! Bb stands for beauty balm. Hahaha I am the queen of everything! But don’t ask me what it’s for or what it does. I’m only a dog and knowing what BB stands for is already a pretty huge feat for me.
How to clean makeup brushes
Mommy was guilty of typing this in the Google searchbar as well. I would tell you the answer, but I don’t know because she never found out.